Sunday, 7 June 2009

worry worry worry

About a lot of things.

Tomorrow is my last AS exam, the second History exam which is on anti-semitism in Nazi Germany. Last week (Tuesday) I had the first one on Russia and Germany 1871-1914. I am pretty sure I failed; my mind went blank, timing went to pot and I wrote the same for a 12 mark question as I did for a 24 mark question (three quarters of a side). Chemistry went alright and Biology I thought went good. But I don't want to fail History, because then I cannot take it next year. I cannot bear the thought of doing Chemistry next year even if I get an A which is not going to happen. My parents want me to but I can't cope with having to do another year of that dreaded, damned horrible subject! I'm worried that I will fail History completely and then do badly on Chemistry like I'm sure I will, and then mess up my chances of going to uni to do Nursing as I want to do so badly.

The other thing I'm very, very worried about is my grandad. Not so long ago (about four/five months tops) he went to the doctors and had a scan. They found an aortic aneurysm but it wasn't large or serious enough to have serious concern about. He has to have regular scans now to keep tabs on it and he had one of those last week. We were round there on Saturday and they'd had a phonecall within 48 hours (which is unusual) from my local hospital (they live half an hour away and it's not their local hospital, which was another unusual thing) saying come in Wednesday lunchtime for the results. My granny is very worried (to the extent she felt ill) and my grandad said he wouldn't be surprised if he was in hospital by next weekend. My parents (from talking to my mum afterwards about it) both think it's unlikely it's just the hospital being efficient for once, although they did say it could be that to my grandparents to reassure them. Thing is, they have to weigh up the risk. My grandad is 73 (I'm pretty sure) and he has emphysema and diabetes, yet he still smokes a lot. His breathing is awful and if they have to operate on this, the anaesthetic and whatever might kill him. However if they don't do anything, I don't know what will happen either, it's probably risky too. My dad said himself it's not a good situation to be in. :( So I'm really, really scared of losing my grandad as well :(


  1. Oh sweet :( First off, I failed my AS Level History. I now have a BA (Hons) History and am 2 years into Nursing; it's not the end of the world. I retook AS, did fairly well and still managed to balls up A2 *rolleyes* Don't worry, you can only do what you can do. If the worst comes to the worst and you have to retake, talk to me, I still have all my old stuff, I may be able to help.

    As for you grandad, keep strong. I know very little about AAA's, but I do know we've had 3 men, older, wth AAA ops recently, and all have done very well. They had to be in High Dependency for a while, but the care you get is second to none and with AAA's they will only operate if they have to. It think if they're less than 8mms (?) they don't fiddle, sometimes it's best left alone.

    You know where I am, honey xxxx

  2. thankyou Katie ^_^ means a lot. Feeling a bit better now exam stress is all over and today's History went okay!